i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
