i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
