i permit you to call me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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