when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
