I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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