I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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