so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
