i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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