this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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