i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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