just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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