i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
