I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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