I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
