wrigley field is MILF paradise
If that was your dad, he is hot
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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