i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
And then he peed in my hair
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
