Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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