My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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