You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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