that's an acceptable place to lick
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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