Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
