I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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