Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
