Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
