Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
