dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
