went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
