gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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