Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
