There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm really into asian looking animals
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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