taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sarcasm needs its own font
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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