I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
