I hate your face
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
