if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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