so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I did not marry a roomba.
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