worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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