I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
