lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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