she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
