hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i will never coherently bang her
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
