I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
