this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
