Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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