Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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