I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
