Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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