your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
