I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Swine flu is the new snow day.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
cat food counts as protein by the way
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
