I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
