hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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