There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
