I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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